With Hideaki Anno‘s proclamation back in February that the new Rebuild of Evangelion movies would be all things to all people, present a panacea to the ills of a languishing anime industry, and sate old fans while bringing new ones into the fold, curiosity was high as I entered the theater this morning. Would the new Evangelion surpass the original, managing to heave its ponderous bulk above the weight of twelve years of mainstream merchandising – or would the temptation to stick an IV into the goose laying golden eggs prove to be too strong? Signs point to morbidly obese poultry…

Then again, Shipon wants to have a word with you. That’s right, there are two reviews right here in a single post! And they said it couldn’t be done… Note: most spoilers are clearly marked, but peruse at your own risk.